Wow this was a week! My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer last winter. She waged a strong battle for the year and we enjoyed a lot of wonderful quality time with her during that year. However, this week turned out to be the end of her time with us. She went into a very sudden decline right after we celebrated my dad’s birthday and survived a week. My training still mostly happened – but there were some changes to the schedule for reasons less typical than because I wasn’t in the mood or because I couldn’t fit something in.
Training is cathartic though, and my solo workouts give me time alone with my thoughts while group workouts provide much needed and appreciated socialization. I always enjoy both but this week I felt even more grateful for the opportunity to train for something. I ended up shy of the weekly mileage but by just a bit.
Why I missed the miles
On Friday I missed the chance to run because my daughter needed me around to help her process what was happening with her grandmother. It was a beautiful day outdoors (unusually balmy for late January) and I asked her if she might consider going for a run with me. She declined. She had a concert for school that evening and had already showered. We talked and connected and it was the right choice emotionally. But I lost my easy 3 mile run that day. I did get into the BodyPump class that I had been waitlisted for so I headed down to FLX Fit Club and enjoyed BodyPump 112 with Chantelle. It was good to see my friend Christina and be able to share what was happening with my mom. I have trouble just texting or calling people out of the blue to say what is going on so this was an easy way to share.
Later that night my mom passed away. I was with her and with my father and my sister. It was emotional and I believe it is how things were supposed to happen. As painful as it was for me, I found myself more filled with peace than I expected. I’ve been actively dreading this for a year, and it was not as awful as I feared. Selfishly I wanted her to be here forever, but it was her time. Now she is at peace, no longer stuck in her broken body. It is our time to heal.
I began healing the next morning with my sister when we chose to go for a hike in the pouring and freezing rain. This weather was followed by snow and I lost another day of running.
A 10 miler is not the same as two 5 milers
Sunday arrived and the day was lovely. Sunny, high 30s and only a little windy. The perfect day for a run. My plan called for me to hit 22 miles for the week and at the time I had only run 11. Man I’d have to run 10 today to be close. I am really committed to goals if I can hit them (or almost hit them) in any way so as I headed out I knew that was my plan. It was challenging but wonderful. Right now a 10 miler is a long run for me – I know soon it will feel short and that is one of the things I love about marathon training! I listened to Tim Ferriss interview Bob Iger. There were so many great life lessons in this podcast. For much of the run I was in my head with my own thoughts and for much of the run I was actively listening. It is my favorite thing about running to podcasts – I can listen when I want to and there is nice background when I don’t want to fully focus in. For the last 15 minutes when the podcast ended I listened to Kip Moore. Scott and I enjoyed his concert this fall in Ithaca so much that I’ve been running almost exclusively to his music this year. I love it when a concert brings me that much joy.
When I arrived home Scott was surprised that I went out for 10. He said, “A 10 miler is not the same as two 5 milers!” Agreed. It is a bunch harder and a lot more fulfilling sometimes!! 10 miles is enough to have a zen feeling run and I needed that on this particular day. On to week #4!